Apparently, Dad Was Right About One Thing…

My father called me his “Go Anywhere Girl.”

And honestly, he wasn’t wrong.

As a kid, I was bold. Curious. Adventurous.

I wasn’t afraid of much.

He could take me somewhere I’d never been, introduce me to something I’d never tried, and my first instinct was usually:

“Let’s go!”

There was one notable exception.

The old wooden Colossus at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

I was about eight years old, and that thing had me reconsidering every adventurous decision I’d ever made. 😂

Funny enough, I loved Viper and Revolution.

So apparently my fearlessness had standards.

But my dad had another phrase he’d use when I didn’t like something or didn’t understand why I had to go through it:

“It’ll build character. You’ll understand when you get older.”

Well, Dad…

I’m older now.

And if you know me, you know I have loads of character. 😂

But the older I get, the more I understand what he was really trying to teach me.

Not that everything difficult is good for us.

Not that we should accept pain just because someone tells us it will make us stronger.

And definitely not that we should romanticize the things that hurt us.

I think the lesson was really about what we do with the experiences life gives us.

Because life is going to challenge us.

Sometimes we’re going to choose the challenge.

Sometimes the challenge is going to choose us.

And sometimes we’re going to be standing there thinking:

“I did NOT sign up for this.”

But that’s where character can begin to show itself.

🌱 Character isn’t the absence of difficulty.

It’s what we practice when difficulty arrives.

Maybe it’s courage.

Maybe it’s patience.

Maybe it’s empathy.

Maybe it’s perseverance.

Maybe it’s learning how to say no.

Maybe it’s learning when to walk away.

Maybe it’s discovering that you are capable of something you never thought you could do.

Research on character strengths and adversity supports a much more nuanced version of my dad’s lesson: difficult experiences don’t automatically make us stronger or better people. But people can develop and exercise strengths such as perseverance, perspective, social intelligence and compassion as they process and respond to life’s challenges.

The hardship isn’t necessarily the gift.

What we choose to grow from it can be.

And that’s where I think the garden metaphor becomes so powerful.

Compost isn’t pretty.

It’s made from things that have broken down.

Things we might otherwise throw away.

But when it’s processed properly, that material can become nourishment for something new.

Our experiences can work like that too.

The disappointment can become discernment.

The struggle can become perseverance.

The heartbreak can deepen our empathy.

The mistake can become wisdom.

The boundary can become self-respect.

And sometimes the thing that tried to break us becomes part of the soil from which we grow.

We don’t have to call the crap good.

We just don’t have to let it go to waste.

And maybe that’s what Dad meant all those years ago when he told me:

“It’ll build character.”

I didn’t understand it then.

But I’m older now.

And Dad…

you were right.

I’ve got loads of character.

And thankfully, I survived the Colossus too. 😂🎢🌱

Turn your mess into your message.

Awareness creates the path.